Do you have more than one persona?

I think we all do. I have the face that I use when I have to deal with the public. You know the one, charming and pleasant, helpful, somewhat friendly. Well, that is my job, or at least part of it. I work in the rental office of my apt. complex and have to deal with my neighbours all of the time.

My other face is the one I try to portray here. I say try, because I am not a very good writer and don't know how well I do at conveying myself. I am friendly - to an extent. I am helpful when I can be. I do try to not be a bitch, but my that is hard sometimes! I don't really like a lot of people, I never have.

I was very hesitant taking the job, I don't really want to know all of my neighbours. I like to keep to myself and now, I may have to move! We'll see if this guy turns into a stalker, or if he takes the hint.

He is a new tenant that moved in a couple of months ago and up until two weeks ago, he had been dealing with the manager. Well, he came into the office while I was working one evening to get information and I was my usual charming self. Short of being rude, I couldn't get him to leave after I gave him the information. No big deal, the job is rarely busy enough that I can't chat for a few minutes.

He apparently spoke to the boss the next day and then came back the following evening to drop off the forms. Again, short of being downright rude, he wouldn't leave. He lives in my bldg - one floor up and one suite over from me!

Two days later, I am out with Sibu taking pictures and watering my pots (I have poppies that have re-seeded themselves) when he pops out on his balcony and starts to talk to me. Fine, he'll just say hello, how's it going and go away. No such luck. I was taking pictures and trying to ignore him and he just kept chattering along. He has a beautiful dark grey Persian cat, so I took a picture of it. Then made my escape inside.

The next day or so, I was working on the pictures and decided that I would see how this printer does printing out photos, by using his cat's photos. That way I wouldn't be as disappointed as if it were something I wanted for myself. Then, I made the mistake of giving them to him. Well, he had to come down and get them, rather than letting me hand them up over the balcony. That way, he could give me a hug. Remember when I said I don't like people? I really don't like touchy-feel-y people! Our family are not big huggers, I do hug family and some friends though. Then he had to touch my arm (the one in the lympho sleeve) to ask how it was. WTF?

I couldn't get rid of him, again! I thought, well, if I start digging weeds, he will go.....no, he had to get down beside me and help. So, then I had to offer him water, I think that is the first time water has passed his lips without scotch to chase in a long time. About this time, I am getting a bit beyond irritated, so I decide well, if I water my plants he will go. No, he had to stand right beside me, while I was watering, making silly remarks about how I had better not splash him. Then the dip-shit, because I hadn't taken him up on splashing him, decided he should get me wet. What, are you 12?

I was telling the boss this a few days later....she told me that he was asking her all kinds of questions about me and that he thought "we made a real connection". Oh GREAT! So, far, every time I have gone outside, he has popped up on his balcony, now if only I had a big stick, we could play "Whack-a-mole".

Seriously though, I don't want to spend my entire summer inside! I am going to have to make a roof/cover for my swing so I can at least sit out there without having him staring at me. I have ignored him twice now and if I have to I will just be rude. I think he was trying to get my attention last night when I was out talking to friends, by whistling, the short noise you would make when trying to get the dogs attention. Uh, if that was him, that is no way to get my attention, I am not a dog and do not respond to whistles. (I am too old to get many wolf whistles these days, so I just assume when I hear one that it is for some young person in the vicinity.)

If necessary, I will pull out the third persona, the one I try to keep buried very deeply. That is the one that can verbally tear you to pieces, make you wish you had never been born, let alone met me. The one that can wither all hope within a 40 miles radius. Okay, so maybe I exaggerate a bit, but, I can certainly make him wish he had chosen somewhere else to live.

I really hope it doesn't come to that, I don't like that I am capable of that kind of meanness. It is a weird kind of comfort knowing that I have that in my defense arsenal though.

I hope everyone has a good stalker free weekend.


the Bag Lady said...

So. Is he really old, warty, smells bad, and drinks a lot? How bad is he, really?
Perhaps he is lonely. Doesn't know anyone in the city. Thinks you are attractive. (At least he has good taste!)
Don't bring out the bitch-from-your-worst-nightmare personality just yet. (I've seen it, and it scares the hell outta me!)
Are there any single women living in the building you could introduce him to? Have a "block party", so to speak. Perhaps if he knew more people, it wouldn't feel so much like he's stalking you.
(And hey, like maybe he's really, really rich and if you're nice to him, he'll leave it all to you! Then again, maybe not.)

Leah J. Utas said...

Well, Cousin, this guy sounds creepy, but he might just be lonely with little social skills.

Love the Whack-A-Mole remark.

You could always find out stuff he hates and do it, or pretend you can't sing (you might have fun with that), or simply convince him you're completely nuts.
Dunno if those are good ideas or not.
I say keep Persona No. 3 at the ready.

Jay said...

So maybe the dude is just warm for your form? ;-)

As a guy with very limited social skills I sometimes feel a bit of sympathy for people like this dude who maybe just can't figure out how to talk to you. Or maybe he's a total f'ing creep. What do I know. If you get tired of him tell him to F-Off. LOL ;-)

gr said...

oh my goodness! I guess it is too late to pretend you don't speak English, and you may not want to tell him you have an allergy to persian cats....
Goodness. I hope you can work it out.

Reb said...

Sis, well, he is old, give him a few years and he will lose all the rest of his teeth. Every time I have spoken to him he has smelled like scotch. He has been in the city for seven years, so he has to have met some people.

Leah, I thought he was just lonely when he came into the office and wouldn't leave. He crossed the line when he got touchy, right on into creepy. I am going for the ignore and am going to put a cover on the swing, so at least I have some escape.

Jay, I have been there too, not knowing what to say to someone. I think he is just a jerk and if he lived anywhere but upstairs from me, I wouldn't even worry about it.

Gary, ha, I would love to try the no-speak English, but, yeah, it's too late. I guess I will have to stick with, something like "I can't date any of the tenants" and hope that puts an end to it.

Jo said...

Oh Reb, what a funky situation to be in...maybe you can just break out the ice-queen chill before the big guns come out. Super-friendly-pushy people usually need something to go on, even if it's just a kind word or "hello", so I've found chilly disinterest works better than heat...if you were bitchy with him, he might be a total drama queen about it.

I've had this problem before, not just with men...and it always gives me a tummy ache LOL It's like your good manners bite you in the ass. I've often felt I can deal with real a*holes much better b/c everything's so clear...but when the pressure is coming from someone with a big fat smile on their face, it gets so awkward.

Uck, but you're right, you can't let his attentions make you uncomfortable in your own home!

Hilary said...

Still snorting at the whack-a-mole comment...

I think you probably have another persona in there.. or is it the straightforward one we see in your writing. The one that uses words with unmistakable intent. It doesn't have to scare your sister across the province.. just the polite but precise words that tell him you're not interested. If he persists, you can haul out the mega-bitch persona.. but make sure someone is video taping it for us. ;)

No kidding though, Reb. Be careful. If he can't read your subtle signals, and can't comply with common socially acceptable behaviour, he sounds a bit scary. The touchy-feely part with a casual acquaintance creeped me out. Keep your eyes and ears open.. and if need be, haul out the bitchy voice.

Reb said...

Jo, you hit the nail on the head! I had to show a suite across from his and each time I took someone down the hall, part of me was wondering if he would pop out of his suite, or if he was watching through the peep hole. I will try everything before I pull out the big guns...I really don't like to use them, they scare me too.

Hilary,yeah, that straightforward one is me, I usually get into trouble with it too. I am going to be very careful around this guy.

Frank Baron said...

Yes, better safe than sorry, particularly since it appears he's something of a drinker. I'd definitely try the Ice Queen route before Bitch From Hell. You want distance, not antagonism.

I hope he gets the hint soon.

Reb said...

Frank, the bitch will be my last resort that's for sure.