Yuck, ew, gag - Frelling idiot!

I work in the office of my apartment complex part-time to make ends come a bit closer together. Sometimes the manager will have me clean suites. There have been some pretty disgusting tenants, but, for the most part, cleaning is just doing the few areas that were missed by the vacating tenant. Sometimes, it will be cleaning up after the suite has been renovated!

The fellow that does our maintenance, is very nice, but, being from England, he doesn't have a lot of experience with stuff here and sort of fell into the job anyway. He will sometimes ask me how to do some things (I have owned houses and have done my own fixing before) or will ask for a hand.

For example the last suite I cleaned was after the trades had been in, he was there changing a light fixture and I was tidying up the stove. I realized the previous tenant hadn't cleaned it properly, so took the oven door off to get to the back. My fingers weren't strong enough to undo the hooks after I put the door back on, so I asked him to give me a hand.

Well, I should never have let him know that I knew how to get oven doors off & on! One of the tenants is an IDIOT and decided (after having been told by the manager to clean) that he needed to take the door off the oven. Firstly no-one should need to be told to clean! Secondly why would you not just use the self-clean feature?

Well, he managed somehow to pull the left side of the oven door off, then couldn't get the right side out and couldn't get the left back in. He had failed to engage the clips (or his brain) on the hinges and once the left side was out, the door was no longer square, so it wasn't going anywhere! He called for maintenance.

Now, I have no idea how long he worked at it before calling for help, nor do I know how long our maintenance guy & manager were there before I was brought in. I do know that it took about 40 minutes for the two of us to get the door off completely, check to make sure the frelling idiot hadn't damaged or twisted the hinges and put it back on. He then wanted to take it off to clean - that is when I left. I figured our maintenance fellow could try to explain - in small words of less than two syllables - that he shouldn't do that.

The reason I had to leave was I don't deal well with the incompetent! He stood there and watched us struggle with the door and oven, didn't even try to help (not a really bad thing). When I asked him to hold the oven so it would stop sliding as I pulled on it, I had to explain, that I was pulling hard, the idea was to stop the oven from moving! Still didn't help. We wound up contorting ourselves to brace against the oven while pulling on the door.

So, I can watch gross movies without batting an eye, I can sit through a loop-de-loop in a small airplane, if they let me I could have been awake during my surgery and been fine, actually fascinated. The one and only thing that turns my stomach and will make me want to vomit is smell!

I almost lost it when I entered this guys apartment! It took all of my willpower to keep my stomach where it belonged. Then of course, actually having to touch anything in the suite - well, I think I will go have another shower. I almost want the kind of scrub down that Meryl Streep had in Silkwood!


Penelope said...


I totally identify. Karen does not always clean the box as often as I'd prefer. Occasionally I have to tell her to take care of the business.

-- P

the Bag Lady said...

You could always pretend to have amnesia from now on...
Gee, Penelope, that reminds me...good thing my cats are allowed to go outside!

Leah J.Utas said...

I've never had the courage to take the doors off my oven. I use the self-cleaning feature and do my best to clear the ashes away without taking anything apart.
I totally agree with you about being fascinated by surgery. I've got a terribly weak and trigger-happy stomach, but medical stuff tends to not bother me. My Lasik procedure was really quite intersting.

Leah J.Utas said...


Interesting has two Es and I didn't notice until I'd published that I'd forgotten one. I thought I'd give it its own comment to make up.

Reb said...

Penelope, you are too lax with Karen. Oh, that reminds me too.....

Sis, I wish I could!

Leah, it is quite easy, if you do it right! The instructions are right in the owners manual.

Oh and we'll make a pact, I won't point out your errors, if you don't point out mine - 'kay? (I am sure it appreciated it's own comment though)

Reb said...

I forgot to mention that I am stiff & sore today and it was (of course) my right arm that was providing the counter balance/pull.

Hilary said...

Now tell us how to clean the inside of the window where things drip down into, from those holes on the top of the oven door!

An Leah, "intersting" is a perfectly valid word. It's where bees go when they want to surf online.

Reb said...

Well, the holes on my oven door are on the front, so I would have to say get a new oven. It is much easier than trying to catch the elusive Glasclea Beetle - and the training process is unbelievable! Of course, once you have found and trained one, they will keep all the glass in your house clean! Or at least that is what I've been told. I think it is as elusive as a money tree though, so,I wouldn't get my hopes up.